You are as potent as you think you are
How to beat Psychological Erectile Dysfunction? First of all, here is one important thing to understand:
Penis power is 1 percent between the legs and 99 percent between the ears.
In other words, psychological erectile dysfunction is the most common thing that happens to men, not physical ED.
Remember, most men have perfectly normal apparatuses, and whatever problem they have, or think they have, originates in their minds. This is the case even if the problem expresses itself in a penis that refuses to obey orders.
You are okay, and your penis is okay
A minority of men have health problems that interfere with the normal sexual function of their penis.
You should be aware of conditions that can impair a man’s sexual ability as well as other physical factors that can affect the penis and understand that with modern medical advances, many of these issues can be overcome.
Unless you are one of those exceptions, you do not need specialized medical care or intensive psychotherapy.
Male body’s reaction to sexual arousal
The erection of the penis is the most obvious feature of the male body’s reaction to sexual arousal.
This is a complex response, influenced by your brain and facilitated by testosterone.
Other features of that response include increases in skin temperature, blood pressure, heart and breathing rates, facial and bodily flushing, dilation of the pupils, and nipple erection. There are also changes in the skin’s sensitivity to touch.
Erection response to sexual interest is the result of the interplay between tactile, visual, auditory, and olfactory signals, combined with cognitive inputs, such as fantasy and memory.
But erections can also occur in the absence of sexual stimulation.
Most men get spontaneous erections in their sleep, unrelated to sexual thoughts or dreams. Contrary to popular belief, they are not caused by having a full bladder, but probably by unconscious and involuntary changes in the electrical activity of the brain.
Psychosexual factors exist in every man affected by sexual dysfunction, although the patient might protest that they do not.
The ability to achieve an erection and fulfill one’s sexual role is central to the concept of ‘maleness’,
even in the most self-aware and well-adjusted individual.
The presence of psychosexual factors should always be considered and sought out because, if they are not addressed, they may lead to ED treatment failure.
Psychological Erectile Dysfunction: Inadequate sexual knowledge
Sex education often focuses on reproductive biology, and the prevention of sexually transmitted infection and unwanted pregnancy. Sexual behavior is not usually addressed in any detail.
This has led to the acceptance of many ‘sexual myths’, which lead men to mistakenly believe that they have ED.
- A man should always be interested in sex
- A man should always be able to get an erection in a sexually exciting situation
- A man should always be able to ‘give’ his partner a ‘good’ orgasm
- Good sex always involves having a simultaneous orgasm with your partner
- A man should always be in control during sexual intercourse
- A man should always be able to delay his orgasm during intercourse
- Erection problems are always a sign of cancer or other serious illness
These myths are further propagated by the portrayal of sex in the media. Films often show two young, slim, heterosexual, and attractive people having prolonged intercourse, the woman enjoying multiple orgasms with the man confidently in control, until they both collapse with an earth-shattering simultaneous orgasm.
Alas, sex is not normally like that.
Average sex lasts about 9 minutes (although it may be much briefer)
Sex is often enjoyable but rarely tumultuous.
Occasionally men complain of ED, even though they can still achieve erections rigid enough for intercourse.
Performance Anxiety and Psychological Erectile Dysfunction
Performance anxiety can be a cause of ED at any age.
Anxiety, whatever its cause, leads to an increase in catecholamine production and sympathetic vasomotor tone, opposing and, potentially, suppressing erection.
General anxiety related to other life events may cause this problem, but performance anxiety is specifically related to erection and intercourse.
Typically, the affected man is able to get an erection in response to sexual thoughts and daydreams, and with masturbation. He may usually continue to experience nocturnal and early morning erections.
When with his sexual partner, he may experience anxiety that he may not be able to attain or maintain an erection during intercourse.
If this has happened in the past, he will remember the embarrassment that this caused him, particularly if his partner made a critical comment about it.
He may be able to get an erection during the early stages of the sexual encounter, only to lose it when he attempts penetration, or even during intercourse.
There are effective therapies for this problem, psychological and pharmacological, but some men will deny the problem, or conceal it.
Relationship Problems and Psychological Erectile dysfunction
ED may be the presenting feature of general relationship problems that extend beyond just sexual relationships.
Where ED is the consequence of a relationship problem, the affected man may often still have an erection with imaginative, visual, or masturbation and may usually continue to experience nocturnal and early morning erections.
Some men have chronic sexual dysfunction that is cause for serious concern, the dysfunction affects not only their personal satisfaction and their self-image but also their relationships and the happiness of their partners.
When your problems are rooted in deep psychological conditions due to depression, childhood sexual abuse, or debilitating inner conflict, they are best served by a qualified psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
Such cases, however, are exceptions.
Guys, you can help yourself with a simple change of behavior and an attitude adjustment.
Most men who worry about their penises are disturbed by the misconception that they do not comply with some mythological standard.
Self-doubt is your penis’s greatest enemy!
The nature of the brain-penis connection is so sensitive that a lack of trust or a fear of failure can easily create a prophecy that comes true.
You have already troubled yourself by creating erection problems that you fear:
- If you find yourself abnormal
- If you are worried about functioning correctly
- If you are scared that your partner might be disappointed
You are driving yourself into a vicious circle:
Your doubts lead to penis weakness, a bad experience increases self-doubt, and during the next sexual encounter, the anxiety level is even higher, making the chances of the problem repeating itself greater.
Most men who complain about erectile dysfunction problems are either completely normal and don’t realize it, or they exaggerate their difficulties, allowing themselves to be sucked into the quicksand of doubt.
A strong dose of confidence is amazingly effective in treating erection problems.
How to beat psychological erectile dysfunction through self-education
Social and historical factors contribute to and continue to cause weak erections.
Stress is the most severe factor in the current epidemic of erectile dysfunction.
We have to work long hours without getting enough sleep, exercise, or rest, and we are often mentally and physically tired when we get home from work.
Add financial anxiety; public pressure; traffic jams; and conflicts with superiors, co-workers, clients, spouses, and children—all elements that neither contribute to maximum sexual activity nor make your penis harder.
Unreachable expectations and erection problems
Compound this with the media’s romanticized image of marriage and family life, and impossible expectations are created.
Being at your best at anything, especially sex, is difficult when you feel out of sorts physically or your mind is somewhere else, preoccupied with other problems.
Stress, tension, and anxiety exact a heavy toll on any intimate relationship, polluting the atmosphere and filling the bedroom with emotional toxins.
Stress also has definite medical consequences that work against normal sexual function.
During the stress response, blood moves away from the genitals to supply the large muscle groups of the arms and legs.
Anxiety can increase the activity of the sympathetic nervous system, boosting the flow of norepinephrine, a chemical that constricts blood vessels. This condition is precisely the opposite of what is necessary for an erection—a smooth flow of blood to the penis through open vascular channels.
Drinking and Drugging can be bad for your sex life
Using alcohol and drugs in an attempt to cope with stress will only exacerbate the problem. As Shakespeare wisely remarked, alcohol “excites desire, but takes away action.”
The same is true for drugs, including nicotine and prescription drugs.
The craze for “vitamin V” (Viagra) is hardly the solution.
Social pressure and ED
The women’s movement, for all its welcome advances, has also contributed to the problem.
With increased awareness of female sexuality and female orgasm and the open discussion of women’s sexual needs, men have the added pressure of having to know the intricate secrecies of female sexuality with an expectation that they will perform with the expertise of a twenty-four-year-old pornography star.
For some men, this might not be a problem, but for most, sex is an obstacle course— a track filled with snares and hurdles in which one scores points for technique as well as for reaching the Finish Line and satisfying one’s partner.
Many men believe they have a responsibility not just to bring a woman to orgasm, but to multiple, ecstatic, earth-shattering orgasms. Now that’s pressure!
A situation made even more complicated by the enormous range of variation in female sexuality.
Vibrator vs. human penis
The widespread use of vibrators and other sensual aids has further complicated matters for men.
Vibrator gives women a level of sexual excitement they never obtain with their husbands or boyfriends. Some females have become so dependent on their vibrators that they have stopped having sex altogether.
While no vibrator has lips, hands, or a tongue, nor can one be programmed to hug you when you need to be hugged, no human penis can measure up to an inanimate object that is always hard, always ready to go, never asks for anything in return, and can be totally controlled.
While this might be a minor factor in male insecurity today, the vibrator problem must not be overlooked.
Use the Info for a Harder Erection
The main reason for the increase in penis weakness is the way in which men learn about sex.
Some confusion is due to a simple lack of accurate information.
Disappointments due to anxiety are far more likely when a young couple hops into bed without having experienced the old-fashioned waiting period during which couples develop trust and affection. I am not advocating old conventions.
Casual sex can be terrific when people are knowledgeable, careful, and self-assured. But when participants are nervous, awkward, and unfamiliar with each other, sex can be traumatic, and a few early traumas can scar a young man for a long time.
The same kind of macho posturing that is found in malls and in schoolyards also exists on golf courses and in bars, factories, and offices, so the widespread myth that a “real man” is ready to get it on any time and any place and knows everything there is to know about sex and women persists well into adulthood. Such a man never doubts his virility, is never nervous or scared and can satisfy without fail any partner who is willing.
Instead of the real face of male sexuality, most men see illusions and myths.
Your body vs. fitness model
Self-doubt created by a lack of sexual education is magnified by the mass media’s obsession with sleek, young, perfectly proportioned bodies.
Those handsome hunks with rippling six-packs and perfect muscles who parade before our eyes in movies and magazines present an ideal of masculinity few men can live up to.
When you look in the mirror and see something different from those media images, you think what you see in the mirror is inferior, even abnormal. That chips away at your self-esteem.
It's not just about vanity - it's about sex.
These popular images represent idealized models of masculinity.
Each little dent in your self-image adds to the sum of doubt that you carry with you to the bedroom.
The image of your penis, your perception of it, your attitude toward it, and therefore, your sense of yourself as a sexual being, is directly linked to the way you view your body.
The perfect image of a sex scene
Another media-related factor is the idealized image of the sex act itself.
Sex is one of the few activities we do not learn about by watching other people do it— not real people at any rate.
But we peek through the keyhole, watching pornographic films.
Actually, it is not education.
If your primary source of sex education is porno, you may have the impression that a real man is a sculpted masterpiece with a huge penis that becomes as hard as stone on a moment’s notice and stays that way, throbbing and plunging and pounding, until he and his lover—who is gorgeous, perfectly proportioned, and insatiable—with the perfect timing of synchronized swimmers, have simultaneous, Richter-registering orgasms.
Trust me, you would rarely duplicate these glorified performances.
But when reality doesn’t measure up to the imagined ideal, men often think they are failures.
And the focal point of their disappointment is, of course, their penis.
- What’s wrong with it?
- Why can’t it be bigger and harder?
- Why doesn’t it do what those throbbing pistons do?
Far too many guys think they should have a two-foot-long shaft of solid steel between their legs that can pump and pound for hours on end.
That’s not a penis.
That’s a Home Depot pneumatic drill from aisle six!
Most men measure themselves against standards built on fantasy and interpret normal experiences as signs of failure. Enormous variety exists among men with respect to sex drive, capacity, preferences, and satisfaction, yet most men assume there is a “normal” and worry that every little sexual idiosyncrasy they have is a sign of abnormality.
Worse, if they have a disappointing or embarrassing experience, they panic, resulting in significant self-doubt, which further creates fear, anxiety, and inhibition. These feelings are bigger obstacles to sexual happiness than having a construction crew in your bedroom. They may be even bigger obstacles than having your mother-in-law there!
Every man has, at one time or another, lost an erection or ejaculated sooner than he would have liked. Every man is, at times, not interested in sex. Every man has failed to satisfy a partner. Men who take such events in stride know that they are perfectly normal and march without hesitation to their next sexual encounter.
Psychological and physical effects of sex
Using your penis for the natural purpose intended not only one of life’s great pleasures, but also is good for your health in general—for your cardiovascular health, your mood, and your psychological well-being.
Penis use is a natural tranquilizer with no bad side effects. Men who are sexually frustrated tend to be tense and irritable, while men who are sexually satisfied and feel good about themselves as sexual beings tend to have a positive outlook and a warm glow of health. Sex is also excellent for overall fitness. It benefits circulation, stimulates the nervous system and the prostate gland, and clears up mental cobwebs.
Contrary to certain myths, you cannot wear out your penis with sexual activity. You do not have a preset allotment of orgasms. As the childhood ditty goes, “Use it, use it, you cannot abuse it, and if you don’t, you’re gonna lose it.”
Sex is easy
Sex is life’s cheapest luxury and should be fun and relaxing, a simple, natural pleasure that erases worries, tensions, and burdens.
But for too many men it has become a worrisome task.
The real secret of penis power is embodied in this simple premise:
If you become absolutely at ease with your penis, the quality of your life will dramatically change for the better.
SCIENTISTS DISCOVERED A SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE WAY TO GET RID OF ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Unique complex for potency and prostatitis
Bluestone includes capsules for daytime use and drops for night use. The fluid form is necessary for the maximum amount of natural ingredients to be absorbed overnight.
- Wagner G, Claes H, Costa P, et al. A shared care approach to the management of erectile dysfunction in the community. Int J Impot Res 2002.
- Lue TF, Giuliano F, Montorsi F, et al. Summary of the recommendations on sexual dysfunctions in men. J Sex Med 2004.
- Kinsella K, Gist YJ. Gender and Aging. US Department of Commerce, Economics and Statistics Administration. Bureaux of the Census, IB/98-2, Issued October 1998.
- Fisher WA, Meryn S, Sand M, et al. Communication about erectile dysfunction among men with ED, partners of men with ED, and physicians; the Strike Up a Conversation study (part I),2005.
- Fisher W A, Meryn S, Sand M, et al. Communication about erectile dysfunction among men with ED, partners of men with ED, and physicians; the Strike Up a Conversation study (part II), 2005.
- Jackson G, Rosen RC, Kloner RA, et al. The second Princeton consensus on sexual dysfunction and cardiac risk: new guidelines for sexual medicine. J Sex Med 2006;3:28-36.
- Feldman HA, Goldstein I, Hatzichristou DG, et al. Impotence and its medical and psychosocial correlates: results of the Massachusetts Male Aging Study. J Urol 1994;151:54-61.
- Carson CC, Kirby RS, Goldstein I, et. Textbook of Erectile Dysfunction. Oxford: ISIS Medical Media, 1999.
- Andersson KE, Wagner G. Physiology of penile erection. Physiol Rev 1995;
- Deveci S, Palese M, Parker M, et al. Erectile function profiles in men with Peyronie’s disease, 2006.
- Mulhall JP, Schiff J, Guhring R An analysis of the natural history of Peyronie’s disease, 2006.
- Patrick DL, Althof SE, Pryor JL, et al. Premature ejaculation: an observational study of men and their partners. J Sex Med 2005.