Men’s and women’s magazines, films, and television shows often create an ideal of perfect sexuality. The guys who watch these shows believe that they must conform to certain standards of sexual behavior that are dictated by the media, which portrays the inner motives of women and men.
These standards are in most cases completely UNREALISTIC.
Within this idealized realm, anything less than being a perfect, Herculean lover is unacceptable.
THE TRUTH is most women do not want their partners erect for twelve hours.
“If your erection lasts longer than four hours, call your doctor” (Cialis’s ads)
The advertised phrase seems like a primitive slogan for all super-strong men.
But what about the real picture of the average erection?
How long can the average guy stay hard?
Nocturnal erections including morning wood can last up to 25-30 minutes.
Nocturnal is a spontaneous erection during sleep or when waking up.
The erection time also differs during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
In a study, it was found that men under the age of 30 years old lasted for about two minutes longer than men over 50 during sex.
- 18-30-year-old: Average duration of 6.5 minutes.
- 51+-year-old: Average duration of 4.3 minutes.
Natural erections don’t last as long in older men, the AGE is an important key factor.
What is the average time of erection after which a man has an orgasm?
A lot of men get an organism earlier than they actually want. Research reveals that most men have an orgasm within 7.6 minutes.
How many erections does one have per day?
A man can have about 10 to 20 erections on average, within 24 hours.
When an erection issue comes up
Usually, the phases of your erection during sex look like
- Desire
- Excitement
- Plateau
- Orgasm
- Resolution
Problems with erection arise, in particular, in phases 2 and 3, where interaction with the environment and your partner plays an important role.
Desire as a sexual response
The assessment of sexual desire is somewhat easier in men than in women, because desire is manifested in men as the urge to initiate lovemaking.
However, you may misinterpret a reduced level of desire (libido) as erectile dysfunction.
Sexual response for many guys is synonymous with obtaining an erection,
but remember,
the sexual response has also a psychological component of emotion.
The main difficulties are
- to decide whether loss of sexual desire preceded, or is a result of erectile dysfunction
- to distinguish between loss of desire and preoccupation with sexual activity, which can be a cause for concern
Loss of desire following erectile dysfunction is an understandable response to failure in the bed.
But the loss of sexual desire, which clearly preceded other dysfunction, may have organic causes, such as hormonal deficiency, which need to be identified.
The reason for the decrease in libido is often complex.
Understanding –what is really going on – may require much more history taking than other types of sexual problems.
Your attitude to your general health may be important. Concern about sexual function is maybe a part of the hypochondriacal* pattern
(*hypochondriacal – exhibiting or marked by unusual or excessive recurring concern about one’s health).
Worrying about how your body looks isn’t so helpful in this story too.
Excitement
In assessing the excitement phase, it is important to establish whether a full erection can occur in any situation or at any stage during lovemaking.
Orgasm and ejaculation
Premature ejaculation vs. erectile disturbances
Orgasmic disturbances, such as premature ejaculation, are common and must be clearly distinguished from erectile disturbances.
Premature ejaculation is sometimes mistaken for an erectile problem because of the rapid loss of erection that follows it.
Premature ejaculation is often associated with erectile failure, as a result of the performance anxiety caused by the erectile problem.
Also, with erectile impairment, the time taken to elicit an erection may be prolonged, whereas that required to produce ejaculation is not.
This can give the impression of premature ejaculation.
Absent or delayed ejaculation also requires careful description.
Does the problem occur only in the presence of the partner; Do you able to ejaculate normally when masturbating on your own? Can you ejaculate outside the vagina during love play with your partner?
Pain
Pain experienced by one of the partners during lovemaking can also have an inhibiting effect on sexuality, e.g. balanitis* or post-menopausal changes in the female
*Balanitis is pain and inflammation of the head of the penis.
Remember, The degree of satisfaction can be reduced even though there are no serious problems with erectile function.
Adrenaline
Adrenaline is the fight-or-flight hormone our body releases when we are faced with danger.
Danger makes us feel anxious, and anxiety triggers the release of adrenaline.
Adrenaline then shunts our blood to our heart and lungs and away from our smaller parts like fingers and toes and the penis so that we can survive a physical attack without dying from blood loss.
This is a critical safety feature that probably saved many a caveman from mauling predators. It’s rare that we have the need to shunt our blood away from our smaller parts in order to survive these days.
There are no longer saber-toothed tigers chasing us around, but they’re certainly many modern causes of anxiety.
But herein lies the rub: If you are anxious because you just lost your job, you may release adrenaline, but your circulation can’t tell if the adrenaline is from a psychological cause or a physical injury and so it shunts the blood away from your penis.
All in your mind
Sometimes the problem really is all in your head.
After all, your brain chemistry and nerve connections are essential for giving the command to hoist the mainsail.
Sometimes you lose command of your ship to a mutiny of thoughts or feelings that you don’t really want at that time, in that place.
In many cases, it’s a quiet insurrection, where a subtle thought gives you just enough anxiety to sink your ship.
More and more, the problem is that your brain can be pirated by too much pornographic imagery.
This resets your compass, causing you to seek less familiar sexual shores but, in reality, leaving you floundering sexually in a sea of streaming smut.
Stress and erectile dysfunction
Significant stress in everyday life can kill your erectile function.
Let’s say you were under the weather, but tried to have sex anyway and had some physical trouble.
Or perhaps you had too much to drink so you suffered from “whiskey dick.”
Either way, you may get distressed by this failure and start to wonder if something is seriously wrong with you.
The next time you go to have sex, it can play on your mind and you might ask yourself a very simple but very anxiety-provoking question: “Will I have trouble having sex LIKE I DID THAT TIME BEFORE?”
The adrenaline release prevents your erection and reinforces your anxiety.
Now, the next time you have the opportunity for sex, you may ask yourself the adrenaline-inducing question, “Will I have trouble having sex LIKE I DID THE LAST TWO (OR MORE) TIMES?”
And then you do have trouble—again—and then it becomes a vicious circle. Once there is a negative feedback loop set up, performance anxiety sets in. The fear of not being able to perform can become a self-fulfilling, consuming state of mind and body.
Depression and sexual dysfunction
Depression can go hand in hand with anxiety and can lead to sexual dysfunction as well.
Causes can range from low self-esteem to high stress at work.
More serious crises—such as posttraumatic stress syndrome from combat or previous sexual abuse—can be causes as well.
Dopamine - your natural “viagra”
Dopamine plays a key role in the brain in stimulating erections.
Even while using medications such as Viagra, you may suppress feelings you are unable
or unwilling to confront with your partner, including lack of intimacy or lack of feeling desired.
Or, you may feel less desire towards your partner due to your partner’s physical changes, such as weight gain, or due to a problem, the partner may be having with sex.
In some cases, there may be anxiety over pregnancy, when one partner wants to have a child but the other doesn’t or when the couple is unable to get pregnant.
Guilt can also be a significant cause of anxiety that leads to sexual dysfunction. Religious prohibitions, divorce, and the death of a spouse can all work at a very deep level on a mind.
Too much pornography can ruin the real thing.
Guys who watch pornography excessively are at risk of losing the enjoyment of sex in REAL LIFE.
The brain centers of pleasure and intimacy become desensitized and shrink.
This used to be a rare problem, but since the advent of smartphones and Internet streaming, porn is literally everywhere all the time.
Can you extend the average duration of an erection time?
An erection can be extended and a lot of men have no idea about it.
The average duration of erectile function can be increased by spending a long time in a foreplay session with your partner. The erection in the penis gets sufficient time to warm up and reach full hardness.
A healthy lifestyle and good eating habits also impact the time duration of an erection. Try to avoid alcohol and smoking habits, these things effects erection time a lot.
Also communicate with your partners about their sexual likeness, dislikes, expectations, and fantasy, and other things that can help to grow your sexual relationship.
Routine prescriptions for pills like Viagra or Cialis don’t always work
for any of these various causes of erectile dysfunction, whether medical or behavioral.
Even in cases that are primarily physical, a psychological component or reaction to the physical problem can throw fuel onto the fire.
Sometimes a short, deliberate course of natural pills will allow you to eventually get back in the saddle.
Fortunately, we now live in a time when a man can get effective help for erection problems and no longer be sent home from the doctor’s office in quiet desperation.
Your erection should last as long as possible for pleasant sex. It’s possible.
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- Masters W.H., & Johnson, V.E. Human Sexual Response. Boston, Little Brown. 1966. McBride F, Quah SP, Scott ME, Dinsmore WW. Tripling of blood pressure by sexual stimulation in a man with spinal cord injury. J. R Soc Med. 2003;96:349-50.
- Giuliano F, Khoury S, Montorsi F (Eds). Sexual Medicine: Sexual Dysfunctions in Men and Women. 2nd International consultation on Sexual dysfunctions, Paris: Editions 21, 2004.
- Meston CM, Hull E, Levin RJ, Sipski M. Women‘s orgasm. In T Lue, Basson R, Rosen R, Giuliano F, Khoury S, Montorsi F (Eds). Sexual Medicine: Sexual Dysfunctions in Men and Women. 2nd International consultation on Sexual dysfunctions, Paris: Editions 21, 2004a.
- Newman HF, Reiss H, Northup JD. Physical basis of emission, ejaculation and orgasm in the male. Urology 1982;9(4):341-350.
- Onuf B. On the arrangement and function of the cell groups of the sacral region of the spinal cord in man. Arch Neurol Psychopath 1901;3:387-412.
- Perelman MA Post-prostatectomy orgasmic response. J. Sex Med, 2008, 5(1)248-9. Epub 2007 Oct24.
- Porst H & Sharlip ID. Anatomy and physiology of erection. In Porst H and Buvat J and the standards committee of the International Society of Sexual Medicine (ISSM). Standard Practice in Sexual Medicine . Oxford: Blackwell Publishing: 2006.
- Rampin O & Giuliano F. Physiology and pharmacology of ejaculation. J. Soc Biol. 2004;198(3):231-6.
- Rampin O & Giuliano F. Central control of the cardiovascular and erection systems: possible mechanisms and interactions. Am. J. Cardiol. 2000;86(2A):19F-22F.
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